The Ring

Getting away after shopping on this beautiful spring day a newly wed ventured down the lane. Where on this knoll a resting spot did she find and while sitting there a large white rabbit approached. Out of the bag of groceries did she pull a carrot and proceeded to break off pieces and feed the rabbit. One part of the carrot was very mushy taking of her ring and rubbing her hands in the grass to clean it suddenly her eyes caught something coming toward her fast she jumped up and began to run. When safely home a neighbor came by and they sat down and talked about the up coming party. Late that evening as she was dressing for the party she realized her wedding ring was gone. Where was it she thought!
It was way down the lane lay her gold wedding ring. Many people walk down the lane passing by it. But strangely through the fields came a large white rabbit partially covered in mud. He stopped and sat down on the ring as closer and closer a loud thunderstorm approached.
The white rabbit sat motionless on the ring down the lane.

My Favorite Teacher

I was attending Quinsiamond Community College in Worcester Massachusetts for some extra credit and got through the grape-vine of this instructor who with her husband owned and operated a funeral home. As I was heading in to Nursing this course would be an asset. From the very first class the way Doctor Joe explained the objectives and goals of the class I felt like learning was going to be easily understood.
For homework we had to write our own obituary and it went from their. Then came the self exploring exercises and the oral projects on events of what we felt happened from the first day of death through the funeral home process and the burial.
We ventured into a dying person would say to their children.
Surprise we were going to be with a fellow student who was dying. This person didn’t find out that she was dying till after her second trimester of her pregnancy. Megoblastic Cyma was her diagnosis. The class really worked together to help and learn at the same time. Doctor Joe was very supportive to the student and each one of us in the class.
During the course we got to visit her funeral home and ask questions of Doctor Joe’s family. Then toured the whole funeral parlor from the ground up with each area well explained. No funerals were in progress at the time of our tour.
The last class was being able to see what this dying student had made in the form of a video. It was called “Letters To My Daughter” and I can say it was done very lovingly and professionally and was done at Worcester State Teachers College in Worcester Massachusetts.
I felt like everyone in the class had become a close family member and with Doctor Jos professional way of sharing this subject with a class of 20 students was so memorable. The lessons became very useful in later years and I and ever so thankful.

Camping Out Scare

At 9 years of age I was daring and would do most anything. My buddies were talking about camping. We were actually going to sleep in the old shed my friends and I has called a fort.

After getting my parents to say okay my mother said, “Being that it’s your first time you might become scared.”

I insisted, “I’ll be just fine! We were going to be in the shed behind Billy’s house”

I grabbed my pillow and set out to meet my buddies at the shed where we’d left our sleeping gear.

We went and set on the front porch and talked about the all the new adventures we were looking forward to. Before we realized it, the darkness was upon us. Billy’s mother came to the door and said, ” Good night boys.” We went straight back to the shed with flashlights in hand. .

The excitement of camping seemed to affect us all sleep just wasn’t to happen. Restless and unable to sleep we shared stories that we saw at the movies.

Meantime a storm was near and the wind picked up, with lightening and very loud crackling thunder. The noise was so loud that I began to wonder if my father and mother were safe.

Although I was attempting to be brave I felt like something was going to happen and I would not see my parents or sisters again.

Then the storm was gone, but my level of worrying wasn’t and before I knew it I began to cry. First, I was crying into my pillow but Bobby asked me, ” Are you okay?”

I couldn’t stop crying to answer him. Then without a second thought I got up and announced, “I’m going home!”.

I left the shed, running home as fast as I could and crying all the way. Arriving home all the lights were out and the door was locked. Still upset I went around to my mother’s bedroom window and I just tapped once and there she was. She opened the door and right to my bedroom I went as I climbed into bed my mother stuck her head in and said, “Good night.”

Nothing was said at breakfast until my sisters asked, “How did you like camping out?”

My mother looked at me and said, “You had a good time didn’t you?” with a wink and a smile on her face she continued her breakfast.

I have camped out my times since but for the longest time the fear came back of not seeing my family again.

Who Is Driving The Bus

It all began before I was born but during this time I was deciding who my mother was to be. When I finally chose I knew I had to become the fastest swimmer to win to become a life in her the womb.

For the next 8 or 9 months whilst I grew, I began recording emotions and experiencing feelings, traumas, depression along with other daily traumas as I recorded every experience encountered with my mother.

Making it to full term with so many experiences fresh in my mind, I was born. Now all I had learned had to be tested along with all the new input in my hourly and daily encounter with a cold world and so many advisors. At the time all I seemed to know what was right.

Understand, I was still a baby so many of my testing of past experiences involved my parents most of the time. I found out if I cried at night I would get a diaper change and if I continued to cry I got food. Now during the day the same routine worked and I found out that big smiles and funny noises cause the care takers to hug me and hold me and feed me. I began to test out the crying every time.

Between ages 2-3 years I had good and bad experiences and even pulling out past learned experiences their were no rewards or any one paying attention. I began receiving input from new people I came into contact with. With some, I was rewarded and some would earn me a stern look.

One thing that was happening, is I found out how to manipulate and keep the friendly people around me. It was at this time I learned to do things that kept me busy when no one was near. One thing I liked most of all was to make noise and throw things around.

Time marched on and when I was 6 and I found out the many things I enjoyed were immediately corrected and learned my lesson well. I didn’t like it. While still have all these different experiences I was recording every one. I soon realized that I had a belief system and their were rules I had to follow. Any breaking of the rules caused me trauma and it was delivered by my parents or the care giver at the time. Some trauma came only in words that were repeated many times. All were recorded in my memory and kept there to protect me.

My teenage years were filled with new experiences, adventures and rules along with my care givers beliefs of how I should act and present my self. No matter what I did or where I went what would come to my head were the learned rules and beliefs I had been instilled with.

When I went into the military I had to learn their rules and beliefs at the same time modify the rules I had learned and my beliefs. When I had completed my time in the military I was discharged home. Everything was so different and everyone was living in their own world and doing the same things following there rules and beliefs.

Talk about trauma in every thing I was rigidly trained to do in the military to do was now taboo. I was told again to remember there are rules and beliefs in the caregivers life I had to follow them to get along.

Now I was in so much conflict in every way and everything I did if I did not remember the rules and beliefs I was to become an outcast or better the term which was used was a non-conformist, a hippy or every one just ignored me. It was when I went to college and graduated and then went to nursing school that I realized my past was my problem. It was further clarified when I went to this seminar where I encountered an EFT, emotional freedom technique instructor also he was a NLP, neuro-linguistic practitioner, I found out that if I didn’t make peace with my past problems, they would continue to be there to cause me pain. Once I admitted I had a problem, he then could coach me to resolve it. He stated there were many problems, that I would need to write them down, as each one was addressed I could cross them off my list.

Today my past is now looked at in very different way and that is with love. As this instructor was quoted, “You are now driving your own bus and taking now problems with me.”

Aunt Rose

This year I going to spend my summer vacation at my Aunt Roses in Bristol New Hampshire. Bristol is a small town but to get to Aunt Rose’s home, I had to go down past the Mica factory, continue on past the power station, cross over this large, iron bridge with wooden planks, where only one car at a time could pass.

Up past the saw mill and through very thickly wooded area was Aunt Rose and her favorite dog “Candy”.

Once all the greetings were finished, I entered the house where a variety of delicious aromas overwhelmed my senses.

In the middle of the knotty pine kitchen was a large, black stove where the snapping and crackling of the wood could be heard.

I could smell the homemade bread and the cinnamon from doughnuts fresh out of the oven. Lost in all the wonderful aromas, I was startled when my Aunt behind me spoke, “I made some of those small doughnuts you love”. I looked at my Aunt and was about to say something when she continued on, “Your mother told me you would walk all the way into town to the bakery for doughnuts.”

My head was spinning as the rest of the day went by so fast and the last thing I remember was everyone saying, “good night”.

When I awoke, I could hear my Aunt speaking to the dog. As I came down stairs and entered the kitchen the smell of fresh coffee brewing and bacon frying on the stove. I moved up close to the stove to get warm, since the morning air was chilly up here in the country.

My Aunt came in from collecting some eggs for breakfast and looked at me, smiling she said, “The morning air is good for you. Are you ready for breakfast?” She asked.

“I’m starving!”.

“Well, you can cut some bread for toast and there is some homemade jam on the sideboard if your uncle didn’t eat it all.” She said with a smile.

All of this had created such wonderful memories for me, that now when I go to New Hampshire and drive past her old home I want to stop for some home cooking and to smell the mingled aromas from the past.

As time marches on, our minds never seem to forget, all those wonderful moments we treasure so fondly.

An aroma or the crackling of firewood can still transport me back into those days gone by.

Conversation with a dying patient.

Mr. George was standing and looking out the window as I approached him I asked,
1 “How are you today? “The room became very quite and Mr. George just stood there looking out the window. Suddenly he turned an in a loud voice said, “Why do you care? I’m dying isn’t that enough?!”

I took a deep breath, as I moved closer to Mr. George and said,” Are you dying right this minute? We are all going to die sometime but often times, we never know how or when.”
Mr. George was very quite as he stood there looking down at his feet, then slowly he raised his head saying, ” This cancer is so painful and that is when I feel like I’m dying and I’m alone.”
He then stepped back from me and very sadly said,” Everyone that comes in here asks the same questions, but they never ask me how I feel or what they can do to make me feel more comfortable.”
I took a step closer to him and began to explain, “Not everyone is comfortable dealing with cancer patients and many are not comfortable with their own feelings to say anything. Please come and sit down beside me and tell me really how you feel?
On a scale from 1 – 10 where do you rate your pain?
How you rate your pain before being medicated lets me know which dose of pain medication to give you and after I will be able to evaluate its effectiveness.
Let’s also explore what you need to say to anyone who enters your room.”
Mr. George just stood there for a moment with tears in his eyes and sat down beside me. I asked again, “Please tell me how you feel? Where is the pain? What level is the pain?”
His voice broke as he cleared his throat with the tears running down his face.
He said, ”I’m in so much pain all over it’s a level 10 and I’m scared.”
I looked at him as I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Mr. George, before you say another word let me get you some pain medication.”
He looked at me with much relief and said, “Okay.”
When I returned, I gave him the liquid medication with a sip of cranberry juice.
I sat down beside Mr. George and explained, “You can have this medication every two hours and sooner if needed just let me know”.
He looked back at me and said, “Thank you.”
I smiled and said, “Each time someone enters your room. Say to them If you can’t say anything to me at least say Hi!’ Tell them you need pain medication now. If you can do that, hopefully, it will make you feel less alone. I will let all my staff know if they pass by your door or see you, to say Hi. Can we try this?”
I continued, “Don’t be afraid to ask if someone would just come and sit with you. This our job to make you feel secure, pain-free and not alone. Do we have a plan?”

My First Time Flying To Germany

It was September 1977 and my sister from Germany asked, ” that we take our next vacation in Germany”. We thought it over and agreed to go if we could get our passports with in the next thirty days as that is when our vacation would begin. Surprise, surprise our passports came with in two weeks. We then were able to get first class seating on Lufthansa it would be an 8 pm flight out of Miami International Airport to Frankfort, Germany with a connecting flight to Hamburg. We would arrive at 11:30 am there time. faxing copies of our antennary to her sister in Flensburg, Germany to confirm the time they would meet us at the Hamburg Terminal.
The days flew by and before I new it we were on our way to the airport. It began to peek when the limousine arrived to pick us up. Upon entering the airport which is enormous but sky caps were so helpful guided us to the right counter. With tickets and boarding passes in hand we entered the waiting area.
It was here that a new level of excitement arose as they announced we are now boarding first class passengers for Lufthansa flight to Germany. I actually began to get a headache as I imagined what if something went wrong while in Germany and they kept my wife as she was still a German citizen and what would they do to me being American. Second fear was what if we got hijacked. I tried everything to settle my mind. Finally in the plane and as we climbed up to about thirty thousand feet the plane leveled off. In no time down the isle came the stewardess confirming what we had chosen to eat. In no time two stewardesses returned with a warm hot meal. With my belly full I was able to relax so much I fell a sleep.
I was suddenly awake as my wife nudged me saying set up here comes the warm wake up towels. The stewardess was passing out these warm scented towels to help you wake up for Breakfast. Too me it felt like we had just finished eating supper. Time was also flying by and as the breakfast trays were picked up the captain announced we were on approach to Frankfurt Airport. What a sight from the air as I looked out my window I felt like I was going into a story book tale. There were small thatched roof houses and then there was homes with large red tiles. scattered about were small villages and the Frankfort. In no time we taxied up to the terminal and were on our way to collect our bags to get aboard a smaller prop-jet plane to Hamburg. The flight from Miami to Frankfort had no turbulences, but the flight from Frankfort to Hamburg was such that the plane rattled and bounced up and down. One of the passengers be hind me was laughing and spoke in German to his friend, my wife interped it to me,” he told his friend that this route has always had the worst turbulences’ od any flight path”.
Holding on and frequently checking my seat belt I viewed out the window which continued with farms and small villages with thatched roofs. Many of the fields facing the roads were lined with trees. My wife pointed out that when she was a young girl during the war that when she was walking to or from school and the air raid sirens sounded she had been told to go lay down flat in between the trees or bushes so the planes wouldn’t spot her and fire.
Finally A big city was in sight and the captain announced would be landing. Once on the ground we taxied up to the terminal. One of my fears of being hijacked did not happen. Entering the terminal up ahead we could see many people shouting and waving. then my wife in a teary voice there is my sister and her husband. Then the only word I understood was welcome and the rest was in German spoken at to me was 100 miles a minute. Collected our bags and making our way out of the terminal to their car. What lined up in front of the terminal was a whole line of yellow Mercedes Benz cabs to pick up fairs.
Leaving the park plaza and slowly merging into the very fast thick traffic we were on our way to Flensburg were they lived. What so unique was the different makes and model years of cars. For a moment it looked like being in New York city at rush hour. Taking over an hour of driving through some of the small villages I had viewed from the air and then merging onto the highway that went into Flensburg. The biggest surprise was the cobble stone streets and that Flensburg sits close to the water. Lined up were all types of boats and ships. Next we took this road that went up this very steep hill lined with stonewalls and old red brick buildings. I asked my wife how do they get downtown from here. She replied, “they walk up and down the stone steps following the path.” We were at there apartment not far from the to of the hill.
Everyday we did shot day trips down the hill to see one hundred years old churches, viewing the beautiful buildings and in the center of town was this large fountain and next to it was and outdoor patio restaurant which we had to stop and have some hot coffee and the most delightful piece of pastry. On other days we traveled to see some castles then to see my wife’s other sister in Duisburg which is near Dusseldorf. Once there we walked along the Rhine river and visited some of there 100 year old churches.
For me the restaurants with there ambiance each so different food was ever so delicious and with very healthy servings along with good German beer to help it slide down better. Desert was always saved for the next stop where of course I had to have the biggest slice of black forest cake and very hot coffee. “smack good”.
A word to the wise if you go there you need some very comfortable walking shoes as many streets are still cobble stone and there is and endless amount of hills. Oh yes learn the some very basic language to greet them or to thank them. You will find as I did many try to speak to you in English.
In no time the two weeks filled with day trips and the wonderful food, I was ready to come back home. On one day trip from Flensburg we drove in ten minutes in Denmark. I found this to be very interesting and can say you need to be ready for the climate and with plenty of film or disks to try and capture the beauty.
Flying back to America was ever so different and was going too be short. That is due to the time change we left at 11:30 am and arrived back in Miami airport at 8:00 pm on the same day. The flying time is the same but changing time to America time is what made all the difference. As we departed the plane and were in the limo home all my fears were gone. The only thing that happened I could feel I had gained some weight from the food I found so easy to eat. I got to loose the weight and then I will be ready for my next flight to somewhere mystical.