Camping Out Scare

At 9 years of age I was daring and would do most anything. My buddies were talking about camping. We were actually going to sleep in the old shed my friends and I has called a fort.

After getting my parents to say okay my mother said, “Being that it’s your first time you might become scared.”

I insisted, “I’ll be just fine! We were going to be in the shed behind Billy’s house”

I grabbed my pillow and set out to meet my buddies at the shed where we’d left our sleeping gear.

We went and set on the front porch and talked about the all the new adventures we were looking forward to. Before we realized it, the darkness was upon us. Billy’s mother came to the door and said, ” Good night boys.” We went straight back to the shed with flashlights in hand. .

The excitement of camping seemed to affect us all sleep just wasn’t to happen. Restless and unable to sleep we shared stories that we saw at the movies.

Meantime a storm was near and the wind picked up, with lightening and very loud crackling thunder. The noise was so loud that I began to wonder if my father and mother were safe.

Although I was attempting to be brave I felt like something was going to happen and I would not see my parents or sisters again.

Then the storm was gone, but my level of worrying wasn’t and before I knew it I began to cry. First, I was crying into my pillow but Bobby asked me, ” Are you okay?”

I couldn’t stop crying to answer him. Then without a second thought I got up and announced, “I’m going home!”.

I left the shed, running home as fast as I could and crying all the way. Arriving home all the lights were out and the door was locked. Still upset I went around to my mother’s bedroom window and I just tapped once and there she was. She opened the door and right to my bedroom I went as I climbed into bed my mother stuck her head in and said, “Good night.”

Nothing was said at breakfast until my sisters asked, “How did you like camping out?”

My mother looked at me and said, “You had a good time didn’t you?” with a wink and a smile on her face she continued her breakfast.

I have camped out my times since but for the longest time the fear came back of not seeing my family again.

Who Is Driving The Bus

It all began before I was born but during this time I was deciding who my mother was to be. When I finally chose I knew I had to become the fastest swimmer to win to become a life in her the womb.

For the next 8 or 9 months whilst I grew, I began recording emotions and experiencing feelings, traumas, depression along with other daily traumas as I recorded every experience encountered with my mother.

Making it to full term with so many experiences fresh in my mind, I was born. Now all I had learned had to be tested along with all the new input in my hourly and daily encounter with a cold world and so many advisors. At the time all I seemed to know what was right.

Understand, I was still a baby so many of my testing of past experiences involved my parents most of the time. I found out if I cried at night I would get a diaper change and if I continued to cry I got food. Now during the day the same routine worked and I found out that big smiles and funny noises cause the care takers to hug me and hold me and feed me. I began to test out the crying every time.

Between ages 2-3 years I had good and bad experiences and even pulling out past learned experiences their were no rewards or any one paying attention. I began receiving input from new people I came into contact with. With some, I was rewarded and some would earn me a stern look.

One thing that was happening, is I found out how to manipulate and keep the friendly people around me. It was at this time I learned to do things that kept me busy when no one was near. One thing I liked most of all was to make noise and throw things around.

Time marched on and when I was 6 and I found out the many things I enjoyed were immediately corrected and learned my lesson well. I didn’t like it. While still have all these different experiences I was recording every one. I soon realized that I had a belief system and their were rules I had to follow. Any breaking of the rules caused me trauma and it was delivered by my parents or the care giver at the time. Some trauma came only in words that were repeated many times. All were recorded in my memory and kept there to protect me.

My teenage years were filled with new experiences, adventures and rules along with my care givers beliefs of how I should act and present my self. No matter what I did or where I went what would come to my head were the learned rules and beliefs I had been instilled with.

When I went into the military I had to learn their rules and beliefs at the same time modify the rules I had learned and my beliefs. When I had completed my time in the military I was discharged home. Everything was so different and everyone was living in their own world and doing the same things following there rules and beliefs.

Talk about trauma in every thing I was rigidly trained to do in the military to do was now taboo. I was told again to remember there are rules and beliefs in the caregivers life I had to follow them to get along.

Now I was in so much conflict in every way and everything I did if I did not remember the rules and beliefs I was to become an outcast or better the term which was used was a non-conformist, a hippy or every one just ignored me. It was when I went to college and graduated and then went to nursing school that I realized my past was my problem. It was further clarified when I went to this seminar where I encountered an EFT, emotional freedom technique instructor also he was a NLP, neuro-linguistic practitioner, I found out that if I didn’t make peace with my past problems, they would continue to be there to cause me pain. Once I admitted I had a problem, he then could coach me to resolve it. He stated there were many problems, that I would need to write them down, as each one was addressed I could cross them off my list.

Today my past is now looked at in very different way and that is with love. As this instructor was quoted, “You are now driving your own bus and taking now problems with me.”

Aunt Rose

This year I going to spend my summer vacation at my Aunt Roses in Bristol New Hampshire. Bristol is a small town but to get to Aunt Rose’s home, I had to go down past the Mica factory, continue on past the power station, cross over this large, iron bridge with wooden planks, where only one car at a time could pass.

Up past the saw mill and through very thickly wooded area was Aunt Rose and her favorite dog “Candy”.

Once all the greetings were finished, I entered the house where a variety of delicious aromas overwhelmed my senses.

In the middle of the knotty pine kitchen was a large, black stove where the snapping and crackling of the wood could be heard.

I could smell the homemade bread and the cinnamon from doughnuts fresh out of the oven. Lost in all the wonderful aromas, I was startled when my Aunt behind me spoke, “I made some of those small doughnuts you love”. I looked at my Aunt and was about to say something when she continued on, “Your mother told me you would walk all the way into town to the bakery for doughnuts.”

My head was spinning as the rest of the day went by so fast and the last thing I remember was everyone saying, “good night”.

When I awoke, I could hear my Aunt speaking to the dog. As I came down stairs and entered the kitchen the smell of fresh coffee brewing and bacon frying on the stove. I moved up close to the stove to get warm, since the morning air was chilly up here in the country.

My Aunt came in from collecting some eggs for breakfast and looked at me, smiling she said, “The morning air is good for you. Are you ready for breakfast?” She asked.

“I’m starving!”.

“Well, you can cut some bread for toast and there is some homemade jam on the sideboard if your uncle didn’t eat it all.” She said with a smile.

All of this had created such wonderful memories for me, that now when I go to New Hampshire and drive past her old home I want to stop for some home cooking and to smell the mingled aromas from the past.

As time marches on, our minds never seem to forget, all those wonderful moments we treasure so fondly.

An aroma or the crackling of firewood can still transport me back into those days gone by.

My First Time Flying To Germany

It was September 1977 and my sister from Germany asked, ” that we take our next vacation in Germany”. We thought it over and agreed to go if we could get our passports with in the next thirty days as that is when our vacation would begin. Surprise, surprise our passports came with in two weeks. We then were able to get first class seating on Lufthansa it would be an 8 pm flight out of Miami International Airport to Frankfort, Germany with a connecting flight to Hamburg. We would arrive at 11:30 am there time. faxing copies of our antennary to her sister in Flensburg, Germany to confirm the time they would meet us at the Hamburg Terminal.
The days flew by and before I new it we were on our way to the airport. It began to peek when the limousine arrived to pick us up. Upon entering the airport which is enormous but sky caps were so helpful guided us to the right counter. With tickets and boarding passes in hand we entered the waiting area.
It was here that a new level of excitement arose as they announced we are now boarding first class passengers for Lufthansa flight to Germany. I actually began to get a headache as I imagined what if something went wrong while in Germany and they kept my wife as she was still a German citizen and what would they do to me being American. Second fear was what if we got hijacked. I tried everything to settle my mind. Finally in the plane and as we climbed up to about thirty thousand feet the plane leveled off. In no time down the isle came the stewardess confirming what we had chosen to eat. In no time two stewardesses returned with a warm hot meal. With my belly full I was able to relax so much I fell a sleep.
I was suddenly awake as my wife nudged me saying set up here comes the warm wake up towels. The stewardess was passing out these warm scented towels to help you wake up for Breakfast. Too me it felt like we had just finished eating supper. Time was also flying by and as the breakfast trays were picked up the captain announced we were on approach to Frankfurt Airport. What a sight from the air as I looked out my window I felt like I was going into a story book tale. There were small thatched roof houses and then there was homes with large red tiles. scattered about were small villages and the Frankfort. In no time we taxied up to the terminal and were on our way to collect our bags to get aboard a smaller prop-jet plane to Hamburg. The flight from Miami to Frankfort had no turbulences, but the flight from Frankfort to Hamburg was such that the plane rattled and bounced up and down. One of the passengers be hind me was laughing and spoke in German to his friend, my wife interped it to me,” he told his friend that this route has always had the worst turbulences’ od any flight path”.
Holding on and frequently checking my seat belt I viewed out the window which continued with farms and small villages with thatched roofs. Many of the fields facing the roads were lined with trees. My wife pointed out that when she was a young girl during the war that when she was walking to or from school and the air raid sirens sounded she had been told to go lay down flat in between the trees or bushes so the planes wouldn’t spot her and fire.
Finally A big city was in sight and the captain announced would be landing. Once on the ground we taxied up to the terminal. One of my fears of being hijacked did not happen. Entering the terminal up ahead we could see many people shouting and waving. then my wife in a teary voice there is my sister and her husband. Then the only word I understood was welcome and the rest was in German spoken at to me was 100 miles a minute. Collected our bags and making our way out of the terminal to their car. What lined up in front of the terminal was a whole line of yellow Mercedes Benz cabs to pick up fairs.
Leaving the park plaza and slowly merging into the very fast thick traffic we were on our way to Flensburg were they lived. What so unique was the different makes and model years of cars. For a moment it looked like being in New York city at rush hour. Taking over an hour of driving through some of the small villages I had viewed from the air and then merging onto the highway that went into Flensburg. The biggest surprise was the cobble stone streets and that Flensburg sits close to the water. Lined up were all types of boats and ships. Next we took this road that went up this very steep hill lined with stonewalls and old red brick buildings. I asked my wife how do they get downtown from here. She replied, “they walk up and down the stone steps following the path.” We were at there apartment not far from the to of the hill.
Everyday we did shot day trips down the hill to see one hundred years old churches, viewing the beautiful buildings and in the center of town was this large fountain and next to it was and outdoor patio restaurant which we had to stop and have some hot coffee and the most delightful piece of pastry. On other days we traveled to see some castles then to see my wife’s other sister in Duisburg which is near Dusseldorf. Once there we walked along the Rhine river and visited some of there 100 year old churches.
For me the restaurants with there ambiance each so different food was ever so delicious and with very healthy servings along with good German beer to help it slide down better. Desert was always saved for the next stop where of course I had to have the biggest slice of black forest cake and very hot coffee. “smack good”.
A word to the wise if you go there you need some very comfortable walking shoes as many streets are still cobble stone and there is and endless amount of hills. Oh yes learn the some very basic language to greet them or to thank them. You will find as I did many try to speak to you in English.
In no time the two weeks filled with day trips and the wonderful food, I was ready to come back home. On one day trip from Flensburg we drove in ten minutes in Denmark. I found this to be very interesting and can say you need to be ready for the climate and with plenty of film or disks to try and capture the beauty.
Flying back to America was ever so different and was going too be short. That is due to the time change we left at 11:30 am and arrived back in Miami airport at 8:00 pm on the same day. The flying time is the same but changing time to America time is what made all the difference. As we departed the plane and were in the limo home all my fears were gone. The only thing that happened I could feel I had gained some weight from the food I found so easy to eat. I got to loose the weight and then I will be ready for my next flight to somewhere mystical.

Fats Domino singing ” I’m-walking-to-New-Orleans”

Every time I hear “I’m walking to New Olean’s” I have a flash back to Bourbon street in New Orleans and my very first time I went there. I was told the very place you have to go is to Pat O Brien’s and order a drink called a Hurricane, then try and drink it all in so many minutes which I found out there was a champion all ready. The Hurricane comes in a special glasses which you can keep.
Being in the Air Force an stationed at Kessler Air Force base on weekends it was discovery time. My drinking buddies from the airman’s club encouraged me to go with them New Orleans. I was excited and could not wait as it was a warm summer night in 1966.
One had a car so we all piled in and headed west to New Orleans. Listening to the sounds of the other I could feel they were just as excited. As the warm breeze gently flowed into the car mixed with the scent of jasmine and magnolia blossoms made the night even more enticing and intoxicating.
Finally on Canal street and avoiding the trolley tracks and lining the median strip and sides of the roads were these large clumps of moss hanging from these trees that look to be at least 100 years old. They reminded me of what you would see in the scary movies and these were loaded with bugs and possibly some snakes. Yet everything worked together being so beautiful and at the same time very scary.
As we got near to the night clubs you could hear ” I’m walking to New Orleans” being played. In an all night parking place we were just a short walk to Bourbon Street. Suddenly we were mixing into crowds of people all coming and going some a little drunk and singing and humming as they walked along or hung on to each other, some riding in open carriages, people were laughing an appeared to be having a wonderful time.
Well you know the very first place we hit was Pat O Brien’s, which was well lit and crowded with wall to wall people. You almost had to swim to get near the bar. Finally I was holding on to a famous Hurricane drink. Sipping it oh-Boy it was every bit as good in taste and what a glass. Being a young airman on a pass you know we attempted to swallowed it down and while ordering another. With the place being so packed we found our self out side, but if was a little cooler and we were all feeling a little buzz from the drink.
Being that the doorway and sidewalks were so crowded the horse drawn carriages with its passengers would be so close you could reach out and touch them but instead they would speak saying, “hello, having a good time by the way there is a party going on further down the street if you want to go just follow us”. It seemed like a few we turned a few blocks we all entered this large fenced in patio surrounded by all beautiful carved wrought iron.
There was so many people site of the carriage we were following. Then out of no where someone said, ” the bar is this way and the food is on a table in the back. The drinks were cheap but everything else was free so my buddies and I were taking our fill.
Then there was this quartet band playing jazz music and even one the song that every one everyone was singing to “Well I’m walking to New Orleans.
Time passed as it does when your having fun, suddenly it was getting day light the crowds had thinned. Looking around I found my buddies one at a time as we walked or better we stumbled out to the cobble stone we were holding up each other trying to sing as we headed to the car. The parking lot attendant woke us up and said, “do you want to pay day rate if not get out of here”.
Every time I hear Fat’s Domino sing “I’m walking to New Orleans” I go into a trance and I’m back in New Orleans wading through the streets and crowds of happy and friendly people.

A Wonderful Memory

I remember this one Saturday morning like it was yesterday. It was early in the morning I got up and quickly dressed I peered out the window to find a mystic light fog. It appeared as everything was covered with a heavy dew which just sparkled in the morning light the dew made one think it had rained. Curiously I could feel some great adventure beginning to stir within me. Outside I went out side walking through our back yard, I climbed on the stone wall and scanned for any snakes.

In no time I headed done a path that is an extension to Herrick’s Lane. A few minutes of walking I came upon one area of which always frightened me. This area was shallow with clumps of grass that were surrounded by black muddy water. In my mind where one could find anything from a snakes, large green frogs, and lizards. They were there to pounce on me and eat me alive. Approaching slowly and scanning the area. I began to jump from grass clump to grass clump. Just when I jumped for the next clump of grass, it happened! Something grabbed me and down I went. First I screamed out in panic and began to thrash about. But I calmed down a little and realized I was still alive and that I was caught up in a fallen branch. Jumping to my feet I begin to run.

My pants, shirt, and sneaker were soaked. Running only a short distance to a clearing area just ahead of me. Stopping and surveying the area to see if anything was there or following me. There was nothing but me and the silence as the fog was lifting. As the fog cleared an just a few steps away was a rather patch of wild blackberry bushes which were heavy with large and plump blackberries. Reaching out and trying to grab a handful of berries they would fall off. My breakfast was ready. My mouth was full of juicy blackberries and as I grabbed for more and not fully aware of my surroundings. I was about to grab another handful of berries as I froze in my tracks, there in front of me was my worst fear curled up and laying in the berry bush I was headed toward. The largest black snake I had seen in my life. My fright and flight defense set in. Suddenly feeling like a gazelle I was running and jumping like the same time.

A farmer that owned this part of the lane kept his cows there. There was a gate it was up climbing to the top bar I sat there very still checking my self out for snake bites. Finally catching my breath the silence was broken, by this loud bellowing sound it came from behind me. I began to scream and it was about the same time I noticed there was a big old milk cow standing in the bushes. She repeated the loud noise a few times as if to say, “hello”.

Now feeling brave knowing that the cow was in the lane I climbed down and preceded. To a spot not to far down there was a natural bubbling spring which was always icy cold in no time I was slurping my fill of this sparkling tasty fresh cold water.

After I was satisfied I returned to the fence and climbed over it and begin to climb the hill to get a better view of the valley. On a clear day one could see the center of Millbury. Approaching the top I sat down on top of the ledge. The fog was clearing and I was able to see the town hall right in Millbury. I felt like a king over looking his kingdom. The silence added to my imagination it reminded me of a story from a history class about the kings coming home after the crusades. Approached from a distance there country side and castle lay ahead.

Even today with my studying hypnosis and past life regression one of the introduction’s start with having you imaging your on top of the very grassy green on a clear day and you are able to look out over the valley below. With all that lay before me and even with the interruptions it’s the quite, the tranquility, the fresh air, and the peaceful feeling that comes over me.